The World's Most Unforgiving Faux Pas
by PPP SSC
Summary: Ike and Soren get in a fight that goes too far. Rated M for sexual themes and violence. Ike/Soren, OC/Soren, appropriately-OOC Ike. A take on Ike as a tragic hero.


The World's Most Unforgiving Faux Pas

Ike and Soren had been dating for four months, and they decided it would be fun to have a couple's day out. There was luckily a festival in town where the two could have a lot of fun. Ike shot arrows at easy to miss targets, and hitting them at a rate at which Shinon would swear to Ashera he cheated, but wouldn't know on Commander Greil's grave how. Soren became excited—which was becoming much more common nowadays—and he asked Ike what his secret was. "You're a swordfighter. How do you have this much accuracy with a bow?"

"It's just luck, I guess… you're my lucky charm." Ike kissed Soren on the cheek. A man led them to a gondola.

"Hey, men! If you want to do that, what better place than on my Romantic Gondola Ride?" he asked.

Ike and Soren looked at each other and walked onto the boat. The man rowed them into a dark tunnel, where the two began to make out passionately… so passionately, in fact, that they didn't notice when they left the tunnel. _Everyone _stared. _Everyone._

Soren peeked above his boyfriend's head and noticed the eyes. "Ike, people are looking at us."

"Who cares?" Ike asked and began to resume kissing his boyfriend."

After they left the gondola ride, twenty-three guys and eighty-nine girls surrounded them, and a few of them began to talk to them. One man said, "Your lover is gorgeous, Ike!"

"Thank you…" Soren said tentatively, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

"Did you know him?" one of the women asked.

"Oh yeah!" Ike said, "Dozens of times!"

"IKE!" Soren complained.

"How's he in bed?"

"Amazing! He's so submissive and obedient…he's like a sex slave, only more willing."

"Ike, cut it out!" Soren demanded.

"And you should really see him just after climax…"

"Ike we are talking over here… RIGHT NOW!" Soren demanded, as he grabbed Ike's arm and attempted to drag him, obviously failing, and letting Ike humor him.

"They're going to talk dirty, I bet…" one of the guys joked.

"I would prefer it if you didn't tell random strangers about our sex!" Soren said, "That's private and should only be discussed with each other. MAYBE you can gloat to your friends… but that's it!"

"They asked!"

"You could have put in a good word and changed the subject. You didn't need to get into the details, you pervert!" Soren said. He promptly slapped Ike in the face.

Ike asked, "How come you're allowed to do that?"

"Do what?" Soren asked.

"Hit me… if I hit you it wouldn't be okay. So why is it okay for you to hit me?" Ike asked, looking very threatening, and Soren for the first time since their initial encounter, felt terrified of Ike.

Soren gulped. "It's because you weigh 200 pounds, muscle. I weigh 90 pounds, fat. Plus I'm anemic. I bet my smack didn't even hurt."

"Oh, yeah, well let's see how you like it!" Ike screamed. He slapped Soren across the face and knocked him to the ground.

"Alright, Ike, you've made your point. I'm sorry! Please stop hitting me!" Soren screamed helplessly. In all his life, he had never seen Ike this angry.

"No," Ike said, "You still need to learn your lesson!" He kept hitting Soren harder and harder.

Soren didn't stop begging for mercy—he hoped it would work soon enough. "Please, please, stop…" he cried, tears running down his cheeks, stinging the fresh bruises there.

One man rushed through the strangely immobile crowd and knocked Ike over. "You leave that young man alone!" he shouted. He picked up Soren and asked, "Are you alright?"

"I think it's pretty obvious that I am not," Soren responded, still crying.

"Don't worry," the man said, "I'll get you medical attention. The name's Scott. And what's yours?"

"It's Soren."

Ike walked home alone that day.

--------

"And he was the only man who ever loved me…" Soren said, sobbing uncontrollably. "And then, that day, the day I met you, he lost control. He practically killed me!"

"Well the important thing now is that he didn't. Speaking of which, have your bruises healed yet?"

"Not enough for having sex yet," Soren responded.

"Well, just let me know when you have, okay? My friends don't consider our significant others official until we sleep together," Scott answered.

"Well, why can't you just tell them we had sex when we didn't?"

"Honor system. Surely you of all people must support such a thing," Scott said.

"I used to believe in such a system… until Ike told me he loved me and then… and then…" Soren said, but trailed off and began to sob uncontrollably again.

"Don't worry," Scott said. "I'll never let him touch you again.

-----

One foggy afternoon, Titania noticed her throat felt a lot better than it usually did. She asked Ike, "Where did Soren go? I haven't seen him in weeks!"

"He moved in with his boyfriend," Ike said.

"But I thought you were his boyfriend…" Oscar piped in.

"Not anymore. Not after I… I…" Ike was unsure of how to proceed. He simultaneously wanted to confess and didn't. He knew that Oscar would hate him for it, and Rhys was in an adjacent room, and he could hear about domestic violence as far as Ulki could hear the wind. Not to mention Shinon was home and would use it as justification for his hatred of the commander.

"After you what?" Oscar asked, curiously, while strangely suspicious of Ike's answer.

"After I… I… practically beat him to death," Ike finally let out.

Oscar turned his head in shame. Titania gasped. Rhys rushed into the room, and gave Ike a firm whap on the head with his staff. "What a horrible monster!" he shouted, "Warning to all of you who want to date Ike; he may kill you one day when you've been nothing but perfect to him."

"I know! I know!" Ike shouted, "I couldn't control myself… I've never been that angry."

"Why were you angry?" Titania asked.

"It was a really stupid reason… he hit me."

"Why did HE hit YOU?" Oscar asked incredulously.

"Because I was being a jerk and flaunting our sex life around without his permission! Are you happy now?" Ike asked, teary-eyed. He ran to his room and locked the door.

--------

"I'm ready," Soren said.

"That's great," Scott responded, as he began to undress his partner. They had their first time and only one thing was amiss. Soren kept moaning Ike's name accidentally.

"No," Scott said calmly. "Ike is the name of your ex who tried to kill you. I'm Scott."

He did this every time Soren slipped up. After the fourth time, Soren started to cry. "Hey, don't feel bad. I'm not angry with you. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes."

----------

"I want to see him again," Ike said.

"No," Rhys answered. "He has a new loving boyfriend now and you are NOT going to see him."

"Oscar, you'll let me make things right, won't you?"

"Ike," Oscar sighed, "I'd never want to needlessly put Soren in danger."

"But I won't hurt him! I promise I won't!"

"Ike," Shinon said, "Listen to the prisses. They say for you to not kill your ex, so don't kill your ex."

"I'm not going to hurt him! You guys, it was one time, and I need to fix it!" Ike pushed through the three older men and ran out the door, in search of Scott, and by extension, Soren.

----------

He finally came upon the right address. Aimee gladly gave him directions, because she loved Ike, and like the others, assumed he would hurt Soren again. He knocked on the door. Soren, still discolored in some places, answered the door. He saw his ex's face, slammed the door, screamed bloody murder and found Scott. "What's wrong, honey?" he asked, although the look on Soren's face could only suggest one thing: his violent, uncontrollable ex was back.

Scott walked to the door and opened it. He yelled at Ike, "Listen, you stay the hell away from my boyfriend! I'm never letting him out of my sight because as his boyfriend, it's my duty to be overprotective, but in your case I'm not even sure that applies. Back then, he was alone, and dying, and only one person saved him… me! So like I said, stay the hell away from him."

Scott walked back to the kitchen. Soren stayed behind and said, "That hurt, didn't it? Who did that used to describe again? My mind's getting fuzzy…"

"Soren, if you're convinced I'm out to kill you why are you taunting me? That's not very tactical."

"True, but if you were out to kill me, I suppose you would have tried already…"

"Oh?" Ike asked, "What if I was just waiting for you to be done taunting me, so I'd be SUPER angry and you'd die for sure?"

Soren's eyes widened and he slammed and locked the door.

Ike watched as Scott gently carried Soren to the bedroom, just as he used to. "I guess I said the wrong thing?"

Ike listened as Soren and Scott enjoyed each other's company. But there was one sound that was more disconcerting than all the rest. The sound of _his_ lover moaning the name, "Scooooootttt…"

That night, Ike took Ragnell from its resting place and put it in front of himself. He promptly cut off his right hand. It bled a lot and it hurt like hell, but Ike managed to stifle a scream. Then in order to remove his left hand, he swiftly moved his wrist across one of the axes in the room. He had to do this several times, and the removal was not clean. But Ike had accomplished what he wanted.

The next morning, Titania saw Ike's arms and extended her own.

"What are you doing?" Ike asked.

"It's necessary, I swear," Titania responded. Rhys walked into the room and promptly fainted upon seeing Ike's arms. "See?"

"Why did you cut off your hands!?" Mist asked, alarmed at her brother's sudden decision.

"My hands ruined a perfect relationship, so they should no longer stay," he shouted.

Ike with his stubbed arms, walked back to Scott's house. He shouted into the window, "Soren, come look."

Scott looked down and said, "I told you to stay the hell away from my boyfriend!"

Soren peered out the window and noticed Ike didn't have any hands. "Why did you do this to yourself?"

"I did it for you!" Ike said, "Oh, goddess, I love you, Soren!"

"I _loved _you once…" Soren said.

"Soren, don't you see? This is my atonement! I have mutilated myself so that I may be forgiven…"

"I will forgive you," Soren said, "However, surely you must know our relationship will never be what it once was."

"All I ask, Soren, is that you be mine once more," Ike said, "Scott's just a cheap knock-off. I'm the real thing."

"Hey!" Scott cried, "You don't hear me calling _you _a cheap knock-off. Need I remind you, Soren, that he practically _killed_ you!"

"Shit happens," Soren responded. "And those who humiliate themselves to lower themselves to the level of those to whom it happens, deserve full atonement. Nonetheless, it would be both improper and immoral to break the heart of the innocent man who was my savior from the very man who is trying to atone.

"That being said, returning to my old relationship does sound appealing, and I might find hands-free sex kinky (or just REALLY painful), and Ike does have a point about the knock-off thing…"

"Then Scott and I will fight to the death!" Ike said.

"No, Ike! You don't have any hands! The fight wouldn't even be remotely fair!" Soren screamed. "Besides, your violence was the reason I dumped you in the first place!"

"In that case," Ike said, "Stay with Scott. He won't lose his temper on you."

"Soren," Scott said, "He tried to _kill_ you and you still love him more than me… It's been long enough. You should be over him by now! I can't do this anymore! You want to live with an abusive monster, FINE! Two can play at this game…"

"Oh no you don't!" Ike shouted, "I'm never letting Soren get hurt again."

Ike took Soren home with him, and it was true their relationship was never back to what it once was, but at least with Soren by his side once more, Ike could move on to the rest of his life.


End file.
